There

When people reach middle age, the past events are played back in their minds like movies. Some people say that recalling the past is a manifestation of aging; Others say that recalling is the dissatisfaction with the current life and the beautiful memory of the past; I think recalling the past is the enjoyment of life. Take out the old photos that have been treasured for many years, and the photos one by one are beautiful memories and moments of beautiful youth. However, there was a photo that made me lost in thought. The vague past gradually became clearer —– in the early 1990 s, the county craft factory set up a branch factory in the town, and the factory was stationed in the Army, militarization management. The instructor in charge of military training surnamed Feng everyone called him instructor Feng. He was tall, with a public face that could not leave any impression. Maybe different ages have different aesthetic views, and there was no special impression on him at that time. The work and rest system of the factory is strict and tense. There are two hours of training before going to work every day. The factory is divided into four workshops. My cousin and I sit opposite each other in the fourth workshop. One day, after training, I sat in the working position and chatted with my cousin. I found instructor Feng standing behind me silently from her eyes. I have to admit that I used to be capricious, willful and unruly, almost arrogant. I glanced at him with extremely unfriendly eyes to show my protest against his behavior. However, he seemed to ignore my protest. Every time he came back from training, he still liked to stand behind us silently and listen to us, watching us flying needles in front of the flower stand, when I was young, I didn’t care about others’ feelings and protested again: what are you looking?! Although my voice was not loud, I believe he heard it. What surprised me was that as always, everything seemed that nothing happened. On that day, it was sunny, and two hours of training sweat soaked our clothes. Everyone walked into the workshop quickly, feeling much more comfortable because of the coolness of indoor temperature difference. As the saying goes, the workshop of more than twenty girls, with three women gong on one side, suddenly became lively: Voices, laughter, slapping, and noises. Instructor Feng arrived as promised, with a cucumber just picked from the vegetable garden in his hand, eating and walking towards this side. With his arrival, the workshop became much silent. I clearly saw several girls’ eyes on me. I was a little annoyed and shouted to him who was standing beside me: what are you looking at? What are you looking?! The air was like solidification, and the whole workshop looked at me —— I lowered my head and continued my work ——- I don’t know when he went out, I just remember that he never appeared by my side since then. Later, I heard that teacher Li from the county followed him, and then everyone went their own ways, and there was no news of him any more. More than twenty years have passed, and I have gone through the hardships of life. I am no longer the unruly and arrogant of the past. Thinking of what I had done, my heart was full of self-accusation, and guilt tortured my restless soul like a sharp sword. I remembered his face again. Although I have never looked at him carefully, I never remember his eyes when he looked at me. In fact, he is such an honest and kind boy. Life is so ruthless. Some things clearly know that they have done something wrong, but they will never give you a chance to regret, even if you say sorry. I don’t know why I treated him like this at that time, just don’t I like him? If you don’t like it, should you hurt him again and again?! Buddha said: everything has cause and effect. If so, is the bitterness of the past the punishment of Buddha to me? Some people say that hurt is a double-edged sword, which hurts others as well as yourself. Maybe with the passing of time, the unruly and arrogant me had already vanished in his memory, and the years would leave me endless Confession ——– the snow vanished in spring

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