Capriccio

The dark wounds of time are always hidden in the deep heart. Sometimes, it is really hard to detect. Unless you dig deep into your memory in the extreme silence, you can get a glimpse of the sad past contained in it. Maybe there is one or several unknown dark wounds hidden in everyone’s heart in the world, but they don’t want to show people easily, even themselves, or it is an unspeakable pain. In order to stabilize our time and bind our body and mind, what we can do is just a temporary escape. I can remember fifteen or six years of spring and autumn, but this is the painful memory that I can’t forget permeating the smell of blood in the air, and how much love and hate it carries in this memory, how much blood and tears, in addition to those who have already left the world and those who have experienced hardships but still exist in the present, I am afraid that only a few careful people can count their past after dinner, recalling the sad past mixed with helpless emotions. And I, as the witness of this long life mixed with joy and sorrow, also acted as a part of their life, so for life as a whole, no matter how humble my status is, nor can it be ignored or forgotten. Therefore, in my age of weak crown, I set out quietly with the state of mind that cannot be ignored, intending to pour out this sad memory silently. I have never tried to dig my memory from the depth before. There are probably many reasons. Most of the time I think that I am belongs to the kind of people who are not determined, and the constant depreciating of my ability like this always makes me disheartened, when I was physically and mentally exhausted, it appeared in my mind at first. It really made me look like a whole person. Sometimes I really wanted to lower myself into the dust, it’s better that you can’t see the light forever, otherwise, I don’t know who will stab me with one word, and I can’t be relieved for a while. However, people all understand that everything has its unknown two sides, and these two sides generally do not appear in front of people at the same time, its unique magic delivered to human beings is similar to the chronic nature of time. It always breaks out inadvertently on your way forward, which makes people feel uncomfortable at once. However, behind such things, it calls out the simple truth of the world with the little things happening in our life. While we are calm, when slowly salvaging the dead fallen leaves engraved with invisible memories from the Lake of the heart and looking at them, our expressions may be like eating pepper, making us laugh and cry. As for how I am understand my own life, to be honest, I don’t know much about it either. When I read a book I like carefully, I think I am have a sense of existence. At that moment, I thought that time was like going backwards, which made me, a laggard who lived a humble life like fallen leaves, taste the fruits of others’ life, which was different from my lifestyle. In such a life stirring reality and romance, I began to give birth to some of my own ideas and write about my own life world for no reason. In my opinion, reading others’ books is to increase the self-cultivation of life, improve the moral quality and increase the aesthetic standards of oneself. If you write your own book, the difference between them will be great. It contains all kinds of unknown requirements for yourself, and, not everyone can write works that make everyone nod, such as Lu Xun, Ba Jin, people like Yu Qiuyu have been baptized by how much ink to develop the ability that is now praised by the world. Then I can only feed myself with ink and words ceaselessly when I am looking up at the sky alone and dazing at different numbers all day long, imagining to write an amazing article. Sometimes the fireworks in memory are gorgeous, because they are different and unique. Some people say that fireworks is cold and miserable, because it only shows its appearance in the dark night, while others say that fireworks is a strange beautiful woman in the world, because it can awaken people’s deep heart of compassion and love for all things. In the fifteen or six bloody years I have experienced, I have also watched its beautiful or miserable appearance in the starry night sky. However, in my memory World, fireworks belongs to high coldness, which makes me unpredictable and full of mysterious and strange things. My attitude towards it is like Zhou Dunyi’s praise of Lotus, which can only be seen from a distance but not mocked. Therefore, such alienation gives me a kind of life personality of silence and few words. More part of it can also be said to be cowardice for powerful forces who have no courage to face. I can’t completely deny the words of despising people, because when my dear people were oppressed by blood, I was helpless and didn’t take necessary actions to protect others with my own strength. I have to say that my character is unsatisfactory. Spring elimination snow

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