Then

Everything in the world has its own survival rules. People live for a lifetime, and there are also people’s survival rules, which is often said to be worldly wisdom. Worldly Wisdom is the conventional behavior rules accumulated in our daily life. I remember that when I was in high school, I saw a sentence in “Zengguang Xianwen”, which was like a thin piece of paper, and the world was like a new chess game. There was another sentence in that book, which was poor in the downtown, no one asked, it is said that these words are the most appropriate summary of the social situation of thousands of years of feudal society. I also remember a sentence in Cao Xueqin’s novel A Dream of Red Mansions, one of the four classical literary masterpieces: the world is full of knowledge, and the cultivation of human feelings is an article. It is also often heard that the current society is really indifferent and the world is hot and cold. I often hear my mother say: people flatter the rich, and the dog bites the basket. At that time, I really didn’t understand the profound meaning of these words. What’s more, I don’t understand what people say about the world. I don’t understand that people should follow some living rules and some hidden rules when they live in the world. I don’t know things thoroughly, and I don’t understand the truth of life. China is a country that values human feelings. Yu Dafu has a famous saying: see the world in a grain of sand, and say human feelings in half a flower. It is said that human feelings are often reflected in the details of life. Human relationship is the survival relationship between people. It is a hidden rule that people form a relationship network through the transmission of interests. There is an old saying that the kindness of receiving water must be reported by the spring. If others are kind to you, you should keep it in mind forever, and you owe others a favor. In this case, you have to remember to repay others sooner or later. In our daily life, we get in touch with human feelings every day. Human relationship is the friendship built in daily life. Classmates or friends who haven’t seen each other for a long time meet each other unexpectedly and have to communicate with each other; Students’ sons or daughters want to get married or have wedding noodles; Friends’ relatives are sick, you are going to visit; If you have something to do with your friends or relatives, you should also go to help. In this way, others will come to help you when you have something to do. The relationship between people is maintained through these mutual exchanges in daily life. If you won’t do a favor, do not know reciprocity. You are considered not to be a man. Gradually, relatives and friends will alienate you. People live in the big family of society, so they have to get in touch with many people in their lifetime, not only their relatives or classmates and friends. Besides acquaintances, they also need to contact many strangers, and these strangers will gradually become friends again. If you don’t know how to deal with strangers, you won’t get to know more friends. Because there is no strangeness, there is no familiarity. I really didn’t understand all these favors at that time. There is an old saying that no one in the court is difficult to be an official, He also said that acquaintances are good at doing things, which is human feelings. At that time, because both parents were farmers facing the loess and facing the sky, they would not pull the relationship and enter the back door. As for me, I don’t know anything about the world. In 1988, before graduating from university, I only thought about my cousin (Uncle’s watch) in the Municipal Personnel Bureau, so I didn’t care much about how to distribute after graduation. You can go to any school to teach. (I studied in Chinese department of Xuchang Teachers College) Moreover, there are also uncle and parents. Therefore, I seldom go to my cousin’s place to sit and have a heart-to-heart talk. I didn’t expect that my cousin was not a close relative after all. (in addition, my aunt passed away that year.) I didn’t take my business to heart at all. Although my uncle scolded my cousin for several times and said that he was not an ordinary relative, my cousin still refused to help. Finally, it was their parents who entrusted the relationship with their elders in the village of the District Agricultural Commission that they entered a subordinate store of the supply and marketing cooperative in Wei du district and stood at the counter for five years. Finally, my brother helped me to transfer to the municipal construction company, and because of the restructuring of the company, I became a migrant worker with unstable income and unguaranteed salary. Now think about it, in addition to their own morality is not qualified, but also blame yourself for not knowing human feelings in those years. After graduating from college, I also wanted to go to the county, and I could be assigned to any school. But my father said a word: people all want to run from the county to the city, but you want to run from the city to the county. You go to the county, but when you want to go back to the city, I have no way to run for you. Later, I took the file to Weidu district. Thought the city works with policy, to Wei du district but changed. Students who graduated from normal colleges are not allowed to go to schools and public institutions, and we are allowed to find enterprises by ourselves. On the first day when I went to the bureau to report for duty, it was the first time that I walked into the gate of Weidu district government, parking and locking in the east of the office building. Go north along the steps, turn right, and knock on the door of the Bureau office. I was greeted by Chen MOU, a middle-aged man in his thirties, medium and rich. At that time, he was sitting on a grand chair against the wall in the East, looking down at a book on the desk. The office is not big, two desks are placed back to back in the south near the window, and several chairs are placed in the north and west. Seeing me approaching, he closed the book. It was the best-selling Lady chateilai’s lover published by the famous British writer D.H Lawrence in 1986 by Hunan People’s Publishing House. After I explained my purpose, he looked at my file and asked me casually: are you from Jian Zhuang? Do you know the head of your village? This question stopped me. Because I am not at home at school all day long, I have less time to contact with people in the village. I am not all familiar with a production team. I really don’t know how long he said. So I said: I don’t know yet. I didn’t know what to say, and didn’t pay attention to his expression after I said this sentence. Later, he asked me some information and said to me: our bureau will study your business again, and you will come again next week. At that time, I really didn’t understand the meaning of research he said. I didn’t say these things to my parents when I came back that day. Later, I realized that the leader he said was an elder in my village. (I should call him uncle, he and my eldest uncle are still relatives) the eldest uncle’s home is only away from our home, but it is not a production team with me. After many years, I realized that I really didn’t understand the worldly wisdom at that time. If I said immediately that day: he is my uncle. Or after I came back that day, I told my parents about these things. My parents would definitely go to my eldest uncle’s house. After getting closer to him, my job would definitely not be like this. If it is now, even if it doesn’t matter, I will try to pull the relationship. During the one or two years after taking part in the work, my classmates also got married one after another. During this period, some classmates also invited me to attend their wedding. However, at that time, the benefits of my unit were not good, and I couldn’t afford the salary all the year round. Go, you can’t take the gift if there is less, and there is no more gift. Moreover, I felt self-abased at that time and felt that my work unit was not as good as other classmates. Besides, the wedding day of a female classmate happened to be my father’s birthday. Therefore, several classmates also invited me to get married, and I didn’t go to congratulate. Now, when I was young, I didn’t attend a classmate’s wedding, which became my lifelong regret. Later, I realized how I am didn’t understand human feelings at that time. At the beginning of 1990, I went to ask my college classmates to do something. The next day, my college classmate went to the company to find me and asked me to go to his place and say something to me. After that, I realized that I wanted to introduce his sister to me and said that I could be transferred to work. At that time, I remembered a passage in Lu Yao’s novella Life, which was what Huang Yaping said about Gao Jialin: if it were not me xxx, you would be xxx. I am really afraid that she will say similar words when she gets angry later. In that way, I always feel that I have my braid pulled by her, and I feel uncomfortable at any time. Therefore, I refused this marriage. Maybe it was Lu Yao’s life that really influenced my life. If I didn’t think so much at that time and became a family with my classmate’s sister, my life might not be like this now. It is not because I regret it now. I just want to say that I really didn’t understand human feelings at that time. Because I don’t understand human feelings and I don’t know how to be worldly-wise, it refutes my classmates’ dignity and certainly influences my relationship with them. Although my classmates have been caring and taking care of me as always for many years. In the following days, even after getting married, I seldom went to the village because of my poor economic condition. But later I realized that it was just like burning incense and worshiping Buddha. What they expressed were their own wishes, and parents could not represent their children themselves. No spring breeze, autumn rain is rare. At that time, I really didn’t understand human feelings. In our country which values human feelings, courtesy and honesty are human feelings, honesty and modesty are human feelings, seven emotions and six desires are human feelings, life communication is human feelings, and pursuing fame and wealth is human feelings, dozens or hundreds of thousands of objects are human feelings, chess, calligraphy, painting, tobacco, wine and tea are human feelings, food, clothing, housing and transportation are human feelings, and gifts, help, borrowing money, emergency and appreciation are all human feelings. If people want to survive, they have to make contact with people who are in the society and make use of human feelings to befriend, Therefore, I have to make use of my classmates and friends’ friends to get along with each other, weave my own network of relationships, and help myself to do such and such things. To survive, one should not only learn to do favor, but also buy favor sometimes. When necessary, one should learn to sell favor; Or give others a favor. People who have always been successful are those who are well-behaved and sophisticated. They can give others a step even if they encounter difficulties; They can give others opportunities to maneuver while adhering to the principles; They can maintain their own position that they will not hurt others’ dignity; when rejecting others’ unreasonable demands, they will be tactful without hurting their feelings; When they do not hinder the overall situation, they will give others opportunities to extend themselves; Under the patience association, let others cooperate with their own positions. Recalling those years when I was young, I didn’t understand human feelings. I gradually learned a lot of truths about being a human being, except that I had sighed disappointedly at that time. In this society full of human feelings, everyone cannot escape from the network of human feelings. The word “human feelings” deserves everyone’s whole life to study and understand. Family affection, friendship, schoolmate love, war friendship and so on, all the friendship of people is maintained by regular contacts. I wish everyone a better understanding of the world. Like (prose editor: drops of ink become wounds) the snow in spring

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