Worship

When I was having lunch, I found something black appeared in the bowl, and instinctively picked it up with my hands. Then I realized that there was a flickering black shadow in my right eye, which was projected into the bowl. My mother-in-law said: It may be the same as me. It is the precursor of cataract. Come on, I will give you a drop of medicine to treat cataract. I also thought it was cataract, so I asked my parents to take some medicine. I thought it would be good after a while, and I didn’t care at all. After lunch, I took my grandson to the Liberation Monument Guotai Grand theater to watch the performance of Ukrainian artists in Chongqing. When I went out, I obviously felt a lot of dark clouds fluttering in my right eye, which made my heart vaguely uneasy. However, these two tickets are very valuable. In order to let my grandson see this rare performance, I still plucked up courage and insisted on taking him there. The theater is black, and the black clouds in the eyes are integrated with such an environment. After entering the theater, there is no feeling at all. In addition, it is a happy thing to accompany my grandson, I am also happy to see him happy, completely forgetting the hidden danger of eyes. As soon as I went out of the theater, I saw the light, which really scared me a lot. It was much more powerful than when I came in. A wisp of dark clouds floated out of the glasses frame, like the flood of breaching the bank, I felt nervous and knew that it must be the bleeding of the glass body of my eyes. This situation was very strange. The outside of my eyes was fine. People who didn’t know could not see that my eyes were bleeding at all, only you can feel the surging waves in your eyes. Hurry up and send my grandson back to their home. I must go to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, dark clouds completely covered my right eye vision, like patches of black snowflakes falling into my eyes. Fortunately, there was another eye that was good, and I could still hold it strong, turning a blind eye, turning a blind eye and driving on the road, I carefully grasped the steering wheel and drove towards a top three hospital which was close to my home. Standing in front of the doctor, you really have no confidence. You have to be respectful to let them teach you how old you are? Why are you so irresponsible to yourself? When did the blood come out? With so much blood, why didn’t you come in time? Do you know this is very dangerous? If you don’t do well, it will be a catastrophe! The doctor’s words made me feel ashamed and uneasy. I thought: it’s over. It’s over. I may have to operate on my eyes this time. I may not be able to keep them. Maybe I will be a one-eyed dragon in the future. I was arranged to be hospitalized immediately. The doctor said: This patient is one of the most dangerous patients at present. Her eyes can’t detect the reason. It is totally a bubble of blood. She must lie still and completely, put your head high and let the blood sink. Both eyes should be tightly wrapped up, even the eyeballs can not move, infusion, stop bleeding. At this time, I had nothing to worry about. Anyway, when I arrived at the hospital, everything was listened to the doctor. I was like an obedient child, lying quietly. It is not a game in general sense to cover your eyes and lie still. It is a helpless treatment. For the first time in my life, I was knocked down on the hospital bed with my eyes covered. My heart was extremely cold. No one accompanied me. It seemed that I was lying quietly. In fact, the complex agitation in my heart was beyond words. I know that my bad eyes are the result of blood inheritance. My mother’s eyes are very bad. I inherited my mother’s problems. When my mother was young, she had high myopia and was a little older, the fundus problem came out. We took mother to the hospital for examination. Although the doctor said that mother’s fundus was almost dead and it was not easy to have cataract, we still insisted that the doctor did cataract surgery for mother. Later, it was true that as the doctor said, to no avail, my mother’s eye disease did not improve at all. Other organs of mother’s body are all good, only the eyes make her suffer a lot. The eyes are not good, and she has fallen down several times. The last time she broke the bones of her legs, which reduced the quality of life, it also shortened her life span for many years, and her poor mother was blind when she left. My mother belonged to sheep, and I also belonged to sheep. It was said that the women belonged to sheep suffered a lot, which seemed to be true. I almost inherited all the signs in my mother’s life. In those days, I lay still in the white world of the hospital. Apart from thinking of my mother, I played back the impermanent life like a movie while my brain was empty, I saw a lot of joys and sorrows flooded by years, and many ups and downs were covered by dust. People, it is really not easy to walk in the world. I am born, old, sick and dead, miserable, and frustrated. The tide rises and falls, who can escape? What are the gains and losses that cannot be put down? Is there anything you need to argue with me? Life is the last two words: give up! Give up everything you ‘ve worked so hard to get, give up the grudge you care so much, come from there, and go back there. Lying quietly in the quiet space of the hospital, forgetting the noisy world, only the original vital signs are yours, and the tranquility is still far away. I believe that in such a special time, those wisest people will inevitably think about this kind of problem, even if I am silly. Of course, it was painful to think about this kind of problem, and my heart was also cold. I didn’t know why in those days, I always thought of a poem written by Lu You when he was old and sick, and when he was quiet at night: jiang wo deserted village not self-pity, sunsi for guo rong Luntai. Late into the night lying wind rain, cavalry Glacier dream come. Lu You, as a soldier, did not feel empty and lonely because of his old age, nor did he feel sad and pessimistic because of the isolation of barren villages. In his empty world, he slept in the night and listened to the sound of wind and rain, as if the horses were screaming, in the past, a long sword was in hand, the back of the horse was all-powerful, and the sword was shining on the ice, which was a glorious time worth showing off. At the same time, when people listened to the wind and rain at night, Lu You’s feelings of soldiers formed a great contrast with mine. I didn’t have any passion, and wisps of sorrow came to my heart. Many patients around are accompanied by relatives. Thinking about the muddled life, When I was old, I was still enveloped by loneliness, and the coolness came out of my spine. I have been worried that I am ill and hospitalized. What should I do if my worried husband is left unattended? He is mentally disabled and has inconvenient hands and feet. What if he falls down? What should I do in case of sudden illness? No! I must tell the doctor, let me leave the hospital early, I will go home and watch my husband. Alas! Forget it, forget it, don’t think about it, listen to the doctor, I remind myself not to think so much, good people have their own natural appearance, so I silently read in my heart: Amitabha, Amitabha, amitabha’s eye disease is half a month in hospital, and his heart is like a glacier swimming far away. A blank past, with the wind and rain into the dream garden. Thanks for the blessing of Bodhisattva, I had such a fierce eye disease, and there was a turning point a few days later. The doctor saw my bleeding point through the instrument. Even they didn’t believe it. There was only one place for my bleeding point, they thought I had a large area of capillary burst or retina shedding. The young female doctor who gave me laser suddenly became a living bodhisattva in my eyes. She was so gentle and amiable, and her hands were so powerful to rejuvenate. When she checked me with the instrument, through reflection, I saw the secret in my eyes, which was deep in mountains, rivers, forests, sky, no wonder people describe the eyes as windows of the soul. It turns out that there is a small universe inside the eyes. I remembered that when my son was just one month old, one day I held him in my arms, and the little guy looked at me. The pupil without any pollution was so clear, and the furry blood vessel looked like a flower spreading out, filar silk clearly visible. I was suddenly a little afraid to look down. In my clear eyes, a feeling of awe surprised me. No wonder someone would burst into tears when looking at each other. This eye disease made me know more deeply that among human organs, eyes are the most worshiped place. They are the second life of human beings. What can you do without eyes? No eyes is the disability in the disability, and you can’t lack eyes without anything! I know a blind man who gave massage to my husband many years ago. They all say that there are ten blind men and nine monsters. It’s true that this blind man is smart and handsome, and he can play and sing everything, he has a great memory. He can remember who you are with his voice. As long as he approaches him, he knows who you are without speaking. I asked him, why do you know the world? He said that he knew the world by the touch of voice and hands. I asked him, is there any color in your world? He said he didn’t know what color was. I asked him, is there any color in your dream? He said no, there was no change in the day and night, and it was all black. He told me that his greatest wish was to see the world, even if he could only see it at one glance. People’s memories and thoughts are stored in their minds. Sparks and Thunder flashing at a certain frequency can make people feel deeply. Suffering from eye diseases, they think of a conversation with the blind many years ago, it is like thunder rolling on the ear. The biggest wish of the Blind is to have a look at the world. We people with complete heads and tails don’t know the pain of disability, and we don’t know the blessing in the blessing. What a sin! I was discharged from the hospital, and finally I was discharged from the hospital. My bad luck and depression could finally be released. I was discharged from the hospital, and finally I was discharged from the hospital. Even the Sun knew that I was going to leave the hospital today, showing a smile in the clouds. When was the most sober person, and the moment I walked out of the hospital, I thought of a few words: maybe you never have money from others, but you have to be satisfied, because there will always be someone poorer than you, maybe you will never be less beautiful than others, but you should be confident, because there will always be someone uglier than you, maybe you will never be smarter than others, but you should be proud, because there will always be someone more stupid than you. Maybe you will never be happy than others, but you should be calm. Because there will always be someone more painful than you. Maybe you will never be as smart as others, but you should be lucky, because some people’s biggest wish is just to have a look at the World praise (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring

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