Birthday

Today is my birthday. Look up at the wall clock on the wall. It’s just 9 o’clock. It has been 49 years and 02 hours since I broke off my fingers. The days passed so fast. It was like a plane. It just took off from Dongshan airport, but after a little confused for a while, it began to stagger down, A lot of scenery haven’t had time to see clearly, a lot of things haven’t had time to ponder over, and many things haven’t been done yet, they are about to land to Xishan airport. If the leaders of our company also need to retire at the age of 50, I will only have one year’s working time. Now, we must have the mental preparation of how to spend those lonely days in the future at home. Mr. Hugo once said: doing nothing will cause an old man’s misfortune. I believe this. My wife has been back home since she was 40. When she just retired, she didn’t read books or newspapers, and lay on the sofa to watch TV and sleep when she was idle. My thoughts were empty and I felt bored. I didn’t think about my son all day long, but I was just looking for my fault and picking my reasons. If I had something to do, I would create some messy leisure for myself. From my wife, I seemed to see the shadow of depression, anxiety, loneliness and boredom one year later. As long as I thought about it in my heart, I would be scared and annoyed. ren wu yuan lv, bi you jin you. I don’t have much interest in life. During these days, I often ponder over what to do after I retire? Ups and downs, ups and downs, flickering, simple, crying, laughing, real and fake, decades have come like this. Over the years, I have been used to cultivating excellence in state-owned enterprises. Instead of learning a skill, I drank a beer belly and got three highs (high blood pressure, high blood sugar and high blood fat), become a waste who can do nothing. Calm down and think rationally. It’s really sad. To be honest, over the years, my life has been like the big sand river in the south of the city. Spring, summer, autumn and winter almost always flow to the West in a clear, shallow and slowly way, there has never been a big whirlwind or a black wave that scares people. Of course, there is no trace. My life seems to have a head and no tail, no color, so hazy and ethereal dream. The countless and vague scenes in The Phantom were so incredible and incomprehensible that no matter how psychological they were, they could not straighten out a little clue with life value. Over the years, no matter what happened to me, I had only such a straight-minded mind. All the emotions of happiness, anger, sorrow and joy were clearly engraved on my face, which would not hide my mood, I don’t know what is the advantage of guarding against people. When talking and doing things, they never take any thoughts, play any narrow-minded eyes, and do everything with psychological intuition temporarily, play blindly and regard ignorance as character, it’s quite comfortable and chic to make mistakes all day long. When I was idle, I still liked to write letters: the schemer came and went in a hurry, the calculating man didn’t smile, the powerful man put his arms inside, the confident man only had himself, the generous man had no mind and no thought, and the powerful man had no brain. To kill time and play. In this real life, in terms of work, I have indeed been fooled by many people, suffered losses from many people, and had a lot of leisure time over the years, I also caused myself a lot of trouble. Thanks to God, his old man loves me quite much. I’m sorry to arrange me, a fool, to bring me any big disaster, nor did I suffer any serious mental injury, no matter what annoying things you encounter, whether it is big or small, then you will be confused. To be honest, in this colorful crowd, I don’t know why God and his old man bless me, a big fool who won’t harm the society and others for years. Over the years, my childhood life has been neither popular nor popular, and my work has been full of twists and turns. However, my spiritual life is generally quite full, detached and comfortable. Follow the destiny, let nature take its course, and everything should follow the fate. This is not simply an idealistic statement, nor does it mean that I have to shirk the responsibility of being a human being, just because I am a social person, many things cannot be transferred by my own thoughts and will. Sometimes, when I ponder over myself carefully, I will naturally say to myself: I am quite vulgar in my heart. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring

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