Time

I always thought that I was still a child, and I could act coquettish in my parents’ arms willfully; I could treat parents’ good intentions and too many expectations for myself with my rebellious heart; take their efforts for granted. We are always unable to understand their good intentions and deepest expectations for us, and think that we can continue to be willful like this! However, time is no longer allowed! We are all growing up gradually with the passing of time unconsciously. We have grown up from the infant in the arms of our parents to us now. Along the way, we may not feel too much hardship and suffering, because we have never considered it from the perspective of parents. Parents are also getting old slowly in time. Time takes away their faces and youth, and brings us up in countless sufferings. We have never said a word of bitterness. On the contrary, in their view, what is more is the joy of happiness. Maybe it is because I have been wandering outside for these years that I don’t often go home since I went to college. It is rare to go back several times a year. This time when they came back, they suddenly found that they all began to grow old: white hair gradually replaced blue silk, deep wrinkles covered their foreheads and cheeks, and their words began to be wordy! In my impression, my father’s tall body is no longer tall, but now it is a little curved. I remember that when I was a child, I liked to compare height with my father most. We all leaned against the wooden door frame, carve marks on the place near my head, every time, every year and year, finally that notch exceeded! There was a lot of joy at that time, but now it has gone away. The originally rough hands are even more rough now. When they were in school, they got up early every day to make breakfast for us for fear that we would be hungry. No matter in winter or in lunar December, it was always like this until the moment when our brother and sister went to high school, university and were far away from home. At that time, maybe it was because I often saw them, so I didn’t find any big changes. But now, I often wander outside and rarely see them several times a year, the most time to miss them is to call them and greet them! But many times, A lot of words were just hung up hastily in a few words at the moment of dialing the phone, as if they were stuck in the throat and could not be spoken out. Father is a peaceful and hardworking man. Although we don’t have too many words to talk about, we always try our best to give everything we need. When I was young, my family was poor and I couldn’t afford to pay for books when I went to school. I didn’t go to school until I was 7 years old. I remember that I was very timid when I was young. When I just went to school, my father sent me to school and said good words to the teacher. As soon as I left, I slipped away secretly. He just got home, I got home soon afterwards. He couldn’t help sending me back to school again, so he didn’t know how many times I went back and forth. I remember that I was also afraid of teachers most at that time. In fact, I am still afraid of teachers until now. On the contrary, my mother was a relatively lively person and also the person I was most afraid of. Although I hadn’t beaten or scolded me in my childhood, I felt her harshness. At that time, because mother warned us to study hard every day, we could only watch TV secretly at home. When hearing footsteps approaching, we always turned off the TV as soon as possible, then lie on the table of books and homework prepared in advance, pretending to do exercises and read books to escape punishment. I remember that early on, before I went to school, Grandpa opened a flour mill. Ordinarily, it should be rich, not to mention rich, but it is no problem to have enough food! My father was inside to help my grandfather produce flour. Later, due to the flour of a truck of orders sent out, the payment could not be received, and the customer ran away again! Without the turnover funds and a lot of debts owed to others, a factory collapsed like this, and there was no chance to turn over! People who come to the door to ask for debts every day are always willing, and spend every day in the noise. What others say can only compensate for the smiling face, hoping to give more time. I remember that several big pigs raised at that time were all counted as money! I can’t help but return it slowly! At that time, it was not popular to work outside, and there was not much money planted on the ground! Finally, we had to work in the lime-burning kiln on the nearby mountain to make money, pay back and support our family. Lime Kiln, of course, produces lime! There is a saying: if you want other people’s money, others will want your life! The boss of lime kiln could only pick up the scalding lime with his hands in order to produce. Every time he went home, he would see the wound on his father’s hands and the face covered by lime dust, still remember! In order to reduce the harm and pain, my mother sewed two gloves with canvas and the inner bag of the bicycle. Even so, it would be damaged within a few days, later I remembered that when I stopped doing this job, the patch on that glove was as thick as half a finger! At that time, I borrowed money everywhere when I went to school, and it was really hard to pay for things. When I was in high school outside, in order to reduce the expenditure, I always made dry food steamed buns for us from my mother! At that time, I spent a lot of time in school, only 50 yuan a week! Can save a province! I just want to reduce the burden of my family as much as possible! Although the years at that time were very difficult, parents never complained to us and asked us to give up studying. Now those days have passed unconsciously, parents are getting old, and they are no longer young! But still let parents break their hearts for themselves, it is really unfilial! I always try to be a good child, but I shouldn’t face my parents more often! Everything you want to strive for and struggle for by your own efforts is still so ethereal! Sometimes I hate myself, my Coward character, my uselessness and helplessness! Those who want to work hard have been standing still here and can’t see any progress. What is more is regression! I have been working hard to do everything well, thinking that I can see light and hope, and the final dawn has not yet reached! Most of the time I don’t want to stick to it, but I always tell myself that I will see the light after sticking to it for a while! In this way, I don’t know how many times this belief has been repeated in my heart, but I still can’t see where the way out is? Maybe we should really change our thinking! The flowers are similar every year. People are different every year. The years are easy to die and the youth is easy to grow old. The lofty ideals that we had in those years may have been lost. Whether it is success or failure is not important! Since then, I put filial piety first, and no longer let my parents worry about my tiredness! You have given me a lot, how can you bear to work hard for me? Like (prose editor: indifferent) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. 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