Susan

Time always goes by quietly. After a long winter, I suddenly look back at the end of spring. In the warm and warm season, the flowers bloom and thank again, and the flowers still bloom again after Thanks. It seems that countless splendors will continue to show prosperity and loneliness every day. Although spring is the loneliness of fallen flowers in the end, it is not like the tragic and painful separation of autumn in the end, which is based on the tone of green, fat, red and thin, and is verdant and dense. In this beautiful season, I really want to leave some beautiful memories with words, but I find that I have not written for a long time and can’t leave a word or a sentence. I always thought that in such a moving season, my heart would be happy with the spring breeze, sprout and Spit green with the spring rain, and shine with the warm sun. I always thought that the beautiful scenery passing by would definitely become a scroll in my life, and then my thoughts would dance with the spring breeze, and splashing ink would become my beautiful memory forever. It was just contrary to my wishes. Looking back on spring, it was already at the end, but my thoughts were messy and blank. I could not live as wonderful as I should, nor could I trace the trace of time. I felt that it was more and more difficult for my mind to be quiet. A kind of inexplicable restlessness filled my heart, covering the whole body tightly. I don’t know which day to start, life suddenly becomes tasteless, life is still passing, but it becomes so disoriented. For a long time, I didn’t put down the noise to see the beautiful scenery of Spring and sun. I didn’t sit down quietly to read a favorite book. I didn’t put down everything for a long time, and then I freely wandered around my favorite prose website, maybe I haven’t sat in front of the computer for a long time and knocked down the words that people like today. The past love, the past heart, the life full of hope, has already fallen into the hustle and bustle of the world of mortals, and can no longer return to the pure beginning. Whether there are too many troubles in the world, which makes me unable to get used to shuttling between lights and wine, and unable to calm down in the desire for money. In these days, every time I turn on my computer or mobile phone, I get used to entering the financial channel to watch the stock market rise and fall, indulging in the imaginary world of red, green and green. All thoughts are only related to the desire for money. The world made up of red, green and green is mixed with many joys and sorrows of life, which makes people unable to get out of the mire. How many times when I was red, I was delighted and spirited; When I was green, I was extremely sad and couldn’t sleep at night, which led to how many confusion of thinking, like a dream, but still firmly believed that this was not a daydream. Buddha said: The heart moves the object, and the heart is quiet, the object is quiet. I am just an ordinary person in the world of mortals, without the spotless purity of Saints. I am in the world of mortals and will not be free from the disturbance of the secular world. How to make my heart quiet, how to make my mind no longer troubled, I may have lost the ability to control, and I can’t let my heart calm down like water. I became a piece of fallen leaves floating in the rapids. From the moment of falling, it seemed that I was destined to drift with the current and float with the current for a lifetime without stability. I am constantly looking for ways to keep my heart quiet, and taste the words that make people calm alone in the quiet place? Or walk alone in the deep jungle to see the quiet beauty of the world? But there is nothing to dispel the noisy thoughts in my heart. Suddenly I sighed with emotion that under Tao Yuanming’s picking chrysanthemum and Gracilaria, I could leisurely see the carefree and comfortable life in Nanshan, the life that man lived in harmony and freedom with the nature, which was the highest artistic conception of life in my imagination. In the face of the complexity of the world of mortals, is it true that only by hiding in the remote mountains and not knowing about the world, can we not get close to the dark and be tempted by demons? There has been no Peach Blossom Spring in the world, and there is no place to find the quiet soil like Peach Blossom Spring. But we still have to survive, no matter in good times or adversity, no matter in prosperity or desolation, no matter in life, no matter in pride or frustration. Money is the source of all evil, desire is the root of heart agitation, and everything is due to inner greed. Facing the temptation of the secular world, I was beaten to a crushing defeat by the demons, and then I lived in a painful torment every day. Only then can we understand that if we are greedy, our life will not be free and carefree, while if we are greedy, our life will be ruined. I think the recent restlessness and the recent pain and suffering are all due to greed in my heart, which makes my heart unable to get a pure and quiet land. If you don’t have the desire to fly and make a fortune, why don’t you forget the money you have earned through hard work? Only by removing the temptation of fame and wealth can you return my pure land. Buddha said: Everything is destined. Money is the same, fate comes, fate goes, fate goes, not greedy when you come, not nostalgia when you go, desire in your heart vanishes naturally, and your heart is naturally quiet and distant, the Pure Land you are looking for will be in front of you. If you want to believe that everything is destined, it is impossible to get something if you insist on it. Therefore, in your heart, you should eliminate greed, understand to let go, give up, and understand the fate of life. When such as spring, life proud arrogant, when like autumn leaves elegant, life quiet beauty ease. I finally understand why in the beautiful season, I can’t see the beauty of flowers, the joy of birds singing, and the intoxicating fragrance of flowers. Everything starts from the heart, everything is greed, and everything starts for indulging the Demons. Master Huineng of the Sixth Ancestor said: there is no tree in Bodhi, and the mirror is not a platform. There is nothing at all, where there is dust, and where there is nothing in the heart, there is no dust. Only in this way can the heart be open-minded. I have gained a lot from the gold rush in the stock market, and it seems that I have lost a lot again. I have lost a good season, a good mood and a warm and quiet world. Gains and losses in life are always relative. If you get something, you may lose something else. What is more important may only be understood by yourself. I have lost too much. In the most beautiful April day in the world, I don’t have the mood to see flowers bloom and fall. On the most warm and romantic day in spring, I can’t enjoy several beautiful articles calmly, the only thing is the tense and empty mood. When you look back on the gains and losses in your life, the dust will settle down. Whether you look at it or not, whether you have nostalgia or not, April will eventually fade away, and the colorful days will disappear in the verdant years. It was the fervor of May that ignited the passion of life, or when I looked back, there was too much loss and emptiness, which made me really awake. Strolling in the verdant of May, a touch of fresh and pleasant green replaced the fragrant season of flowers blooming and falling. The Green in mid-May is so plain, and also so tranquil and pleasant. I feel calm and happy in it. All the colorful prosperity is passing clouds, and there is no need to be stubborn about gains and losses. Plain and plain heart is the most eternal color, and life with a plain heart will be carefree. The Green in May is an ordinary color, while May is the most vibrant color in all seasons. I want to live a life like the vitality and flying of early summer. I don’t know if it is a little extravagant and unreachable. Or this is because I have already been tired of the tedious chores, and when I meet a touch of plain plain, I am deeply moved, which makes people yearn for it. Everything is thought, annoyance is caused by heart, inner greed and prosperity will suffer in fickleness, so in the hustle and bustle, they yearn for peace and simplicity. If you are simple and indifferent to fame and wealth in your heart, you will be quiet and far away, leisurely and carefree in the fleeting time, return to plain, return to quiet and simple life is the life you really know. In early summer, abandon those so-called fame and benefits, change life into elegant plain color, and live the plain years like the scenery in May. In early summer, we welcomed a wisp of breeze in our hearts, bathed in the dirty soul, and walked towards the brightness of May to the tranquility and freshness of May with the posture of a Lotus. Like (prose editor: Ke Er) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Love,

What is love? Although I have written numerous talks about love in space and several diaries about love, when my friend asked me this question, I still thought for a long time and didn’t know how to answer it. What is love? Love is an eternal topic. For thousands of years, countless literati and writers have incorporated it into the paper, which has a happy freehand brushwork, a sad ending, and a young craziness, there is also the persistence of HEFA. Poems and songs about love can always leave incense for a long time. Although everyone’s brushwork is different, as long as you read carefully, there is one thing in common, that is, tender intestines. Li Shangyin said, “Why should we cut candles in the west window together, but when it rains at night. Let a deep lovesickness and pure emotion leap onto the paper, a long-distance yearning, a longing for reunion, a longing for the night talk, the plain language described Bai Zhuo’s tender intestines incisively and vividly. Bai Juyi’s sentence is that he is willing to be a biybird in heaven and a branch in the ground. The yearning for the beauty of love is presented in front of the world, showing people’s pursuit and persistence for the most beautiful state of love through the ages. Love can always make the heart full of tenderness, tender care, soft missing, soft sweet words and soft heart. Like the spring breeze blowing across the cheek, like the autumn moon flowing into the window lattice, like the continuous summer rain, like the glittering and translucent winter rain. With beautiful love, every inch of skin of the whole body will be immersed in the nectar of love, and joy and sweetness will flow unconsciously from the corners of the eyes and eyebrows. Happiness cannot be hidden. You can hold back not to laugh, but you can’t hold back the expression of high spirits because of the happiness in your heart. I have watched countless love movies, and countless movies and televisions have played classic love stories in turn. She was originally an emotional woman who often burst into tears or smiled at a touching plot in the play. A series of films or TV plays have performed countless versions of love, and also expressed the way of love incisively and vividly. Once I missed my shoulder and waited for the whole life; Some met each other late and regretted for the whole life; Some betrayed the door rules, went through fire and water, and some held their hands to the end of the world. What is the love of embracing each other day and night? Is butterfly lovers butterfly fly of in life and death, or of the Cowherd Trinidad accompanied? Is it the tenderness of the five elder brothers in Qiong Yao’s works who abandoned the whole Rong Hua to accompany the emperor every night, or the obsession of Xiao Fengning who was alone and abandoned the prosperity of three thousand in Jin Yong’s works? Because of love, raindrops would rather fall from the height of to blend into the blood of the Earth. Because of love, the mountains look at white clouds from afar, and stand themselves in the same posture for thousands of years. Because of love, there is no distance between time and space. Because of love, waiting is not that long. Some people love vigorously, but can not flow long, some people love plain, but can grow old together. Some people exclaim that love is lonely in the deep, while some people praise love as rain and dew. Love is like a magician. In front of men and women who fall in love, it shows its endless charm and unpredictability again and again. Love, like drugs, can corrode the muscles and bones, cut off the intestines and burn the abdomen, even if it is sleepless all night, no one can give up easily. Love is like honey, the sweetness that enters the heart into the lungs, the drunkenness that enters the eyes into the eyebrows, even the wind and rain add risks and difficulties, it will also make people go forward regardless of everything. In the world, the most beautiful thing is love, and the most hurtful thing is also love. All encounters are mostly similar, either a glance of thousands of years, or a word of love. People who are careful know how to care and leave white space. They can not only enjoy the beauty brought by Love at close range, but also avoid touching the thorns on the rose stems at a proper distance, deep love, deep thoughts, infatuated accompany around. The beautiful love is to be a couple of fairy lovers in the world of fireworks. Accompany quietly, pet silently, have more understanding, tolerance, understand with heart, feel with heart, and then, with a willing attitude, accompany TA to see the flow of water. Text: Falling red dust laughing like smoke QQ:1483563655 the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

19

If I once said the beginning, then please believe that every Beginning of mine has a different meaning, and I also believe that every beginning is special, even if those beginning seem so ordinary in 1993, I don’t know whether summer is far away or autumn is just coming. I can’t know the specific moment, but I regard that year as the beginning of my coming to this world. That year I am one of thousands of newborns, and it was also a negligible existence in the vast universe. I didn’t know that I didn’t receive the welcome from everyone until I came, but it didn’t matter. I was lucky to come to my family who loved me. The year I didn’t remember in 1993, the year I had no memory for a long time, but that year was the starting point of all my beginnings. Maybe fate tied myself with those people from that moment, the moment I was born. That year, I got a father who loved me very much; That year, I got a mother who loved me very much; That year, I got a brother who loved me very much. Even though I didn’t have the ability to remember at that time, I couldn’t understand the feelings they put on me, but those real things would never disappear, because every time I think of it, I can touch it. Besides loving my family, I also got a lot of things to accompany them, such as relatives, neighbors, playmates of the same age, love, care, hate, flowers and trees, etc. I have to mention that some things can be possessed forever, while some things can only stay for a short time, but I still appreciate every appearance and existence. How to describe that year, or how to say that beginning? Can you say that you have been secretly brought to this world? Is it a bit ridiculous? The beginning I have always believed in is so ridiculous and unspeakable! However, I don’t think I came at an unexpected time. At least I have never regretted coming to this world, and I don’t think anyone has done anything wrong. In my subconscious mind, I I am believe that every person or thing who comes to this world is special, while every child who comes to the world is to complete a special task, and even everything has its own mission. I believe that some people will think that my beginning was an accident, which was not prepared for anyone. I also believe that my beginning brought happiness to some people, from inside to outside. In fact, I don’t need to think about or pursue those unknown beginnings, or ignore those neglected beginnings, but I can’t control the desire to explore the past. Time and time again suppressed the desire that was eager to dig out his own beginning, but it still couldn’t be obliterated after all. I am just an ordinary existence, unable to compete with too many things, nor can I defeat every Demon in My Heart. Maybe what I want to explore is not the beginning, but a question hidden in my heart for many years, but at the beginning, it seemed that we couldn’t tell the secret casually. There was never a time when I wanted to uncover the secret that could not continue, but in the end, I still lacked some courage. The beginning that could not hurt others eventually became a mystery! Maybe no one cares about that fan except myself, or no one is as confused as I am. At the beginning of the question, I don’t know whether I can only be a fan in my heart forever, and whether I will be willing and compromise? Even if it is not what I want, I will not be dissatisfied with it. Maybe I was doomed to get rid of those inherent natures from the moment I was born. In fact, what I like most is the indifference and quietness hidden behind all natures, a kind of indifference, there is also a kind of quietness. So even if I lose my way in doubt, I can find the light shining on myself and the beginning that never depreciates myself, because I have said that I always believe that every beginning has a different meaning, it is also a special existence like (prose editor: Ke Er) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Youth

Youth, lost but no longer exists lucky who can speak about youth accurately, what is youth? Is it energetic, decadent and irritable, or capricious? We hold the youth in our hands and squander it wildly. We always pretend to be very old, as if we have seen through the hot and cold world. In fact, what about it? We are just naive children who don’t understand the world. We disguise ourselves as a hedgehog and keep others away. Just for the little obsession in my heart, I always feel that no one understands you, no one cares about you, and live a lonely life. I mabigbiggirl I mabigbiggirlinabigbigworld It snotabigbigthingifyouleaveme we are in youth, do you know what loneliness is? When you are alone, you will feel sour when you see the girls beside you laughing and teasing. This should be the so-called sour grapes if you can’t eat grapes. You sit alone in an inconspicuous corner, looking out of the window, very quiet. But the silence at this time is also a kind of enjoyment. Although there is no one around you to rely on, you have a lot of warm sunshine, green plants, blue sky and quiet world. Hello, the declaration of young pride in the memory of that young man at that time could embrace the whole world by stretching out his hands and believing that all dreams would come true. It seemed that everything would not be too far away even if it would inevitably become more refined. We never compromised us. Still the paranoid teenager in my heart till today, can you still remember the promise you made at that time? I regret the ambition I once had, but now I forget it? Can that heart still beat as strong and powerful as before, can the mood still be carefree as before, and can the smile be as innocent as then? Is it really getting old? Maybe you are just like me, the color is not faded, and your heart grows old first. Have you ever asked yourself why? Why do you want to be so pessimistic, why can’t you be a simple child, why can’t you? Where is the root of this —– in your mind. What you are thinking will be reflected on your face. If you are pessimistic, it is also pessimistic, just like a person of seven or eighty years old, weak and helpless. But don’t forget, you are in the best flower season. Hey, young man, how are you? Young, the most proud capital, when you don’t need to think over and over again, consider it while you still don’t know why you sigh, and when you haven’t learned to pretend to prove yourself, what do you think is you, maybe you don’t believe you. Maybe you didn’t pay attention to how many people admire you for your youth. The world belongs to you only because you are young. You have to grasp it tightly and it is not easy to make public, vitality, recklessness and rebellion are all pronouns of young people. Because you are young, you can do whatever you want without scruple; Because you are young, you have the courage to pursue everything you want; Because you are young, you can smile to the person you like and be indifferent to the person you don’t like. There is no limit, no worldly wisdom, only do what you want. The brightest star in the night sky whether the brightest star in the night sky can hear the loneliness and sigh in the heart of the person who looks up to him very much like standing by the window, leaning against the windowsill and looking at the night sky. In fact, there are few stars in the black night. Facing the night sky with nothing, I just want to express my untold sadness. The name of the band is the escape plan, which escapes from the fickle and prosperous city, to a place with only freedom and casualness, a place that truly belongs to you. I pray to have a transparent heart and tearful eyes to give me the courage to believe again. Embrace you beyond lies. Whenever I can’t find the meaning of existence, whenever I get lost in the dark night, the brightest star in the night sky, please guide me to get close to you and don’t follow the trend, don’t follow others, just be yourself, the true self. There is no need to disguise, change, imitate, and live your own appearance in the most comfortable form. If you can, don’t become philistine; If you can, don’t become smooth; If you can, don’t live cautiously. Eat if you want, drink if you want, and do whatever you want. The brightest star shines the light that only belongs to you. Go for the best! Like (prose editor: drops of ink become wounds) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

“And other

Everything was accidental. Once we met by chance, a little colleague gave the old master a set of literature books. My little colleague specially told me when delivering the book: it is worth seeing! The old master was not so obsessed with literature as I was, so he handed the book to me when he came home. I am very happy to love literature. I usually read the cover first, such as Wafangdian Literature Reader, Wafangdian cultural heritage, Wafangdian tourism, Wafangdian industry, selected Poems and couplets in Wafangdian. There are five books in one set, which comprehensively introduce the regional culture of hometown, scenic spots and so on. If you get a book by accident, you will get unexpected gains and the joy of getting a treasure. This accident made me read the essay “empty nest” written by the female writer Su Su in the “literature reader”. After reading a few lines, my heart was firmly fastened. The heavy pen and ink of the female writer and the delicate, wise and heroic character of the Northeast woman are all revealed in the words, and the heart is tightly integrated with her words. This power of penetrating time and space led me into the grand marshal mansion with rich historical color in Shenyang, and reviewed the history of Zhang’s father and son. The writer’s words are as ups and downs as the story of Zhang’s father and son, and have great shock as well. As the writer narrated word by word, it seemed that he could feel the heartache of the writer, for the general converted to God, for the old man didn’t want to go home at dusk. My heart is also constantly ups and downs, pulling pain in waves. I used to look forward to Zhang Xueliang’s return to his hometown so deeply like a writer, not only because he was an all-powerful historical figure, but also because of his tragic life, it is also because he is a Northeasterner, the proud son of the Northeast, and the concern of the Northeasterner. At that time, all the Northeasterners were looking forward to it, And him home. But he never set foot on his way home. I once felt puzzled and regretful in my heart for thousands of times. After unlocking, why didn’t Zhang Xueliang go back to his hometown in Northeast China or his Grand Marshal’s mansion? He should know all the Northeasterners, all the families were ready to welcome him back home, but he didn’t set foot on the land of his hometown after all. The writer said with tears that this country is your home. You have done and paid for it, and you are certainly its owner. If you don’t go home, it’s a shame for it, and also for everyone in this family. Why do you stand on that small island in the Pacific Ocean, looking at the world from a distance, looking at the old country, but not getting closer? Are you really waiting there quietly to announce a truth to mankind? Or are you still a person wearing chains now, and the so-called freedom is an illusion? Then, your fellow-townsman here wishes you a long life, and may you be saved in the world of the Lord and finally in the world of human beings. Have you ever heard of that famous saxophone? Its name is “waiting for you to go home”. Every time I listen to this song, I will think of you and cry. When I read this, my eyes were filled with tears. General Zhang Xueliang was the organizer of Xi’an Incident. The writer said in the article that the incident not only changed the fate of China, but also his own, while he became a meritorious minister of the Chinese nation, he also became the most special political prisoner in Chinese history, and he became an eternal prisoner. The writer said that Zhang Xueliang had heard the truth about the Xi’an Incident and would be exposed to the world in 2002. I was extremely surprised. Is there another truth in Xi’an incident? Isn’t it true that historical records and what we have read through our mouth for decades? What is the truth? However, Zhang Xueliang died on October 15th, 2001. The truth that only he knew was brought into his heaven forever by him. I have guessed for countless times that what made this old man determined until he finally didn’t go home. Is it the will of the Lord? Or did he ever owe this nation something and feel guilty? Or is he biased against his own nation and unwilling to face it? This kind of determination not only makes people full of doubts, but also is an eternal doubt. How I wish the writer could explain this doubt in the article, solve Zhang Xueliang’s gloomy heart knot and let it come to light in the world. But the writer still made a foreshadowing, leaving a big question mark in my heart. Maybe I always read and respect history with a kind heart, so Zhang Xueliang has always been the hero and national hero I admire in my heart. When something was controversial on Zhang Xueliang, How I wished that it was not true. After all, he was an all-powerful figure in Chinese history. After all, the Xi’an Incident he launched changed the history and destiny of China. What I wrote was not comments, but a grassroots review at most. Although my brushwork was immature and young, I still dared to write, even though it was immature, rough and clumsy. Because empty nest gives me the impulse to write. Like (prose editor: Ke Er) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…