Capriccio

The dark wounds of time are always hidden in the deep heart. Sometimes, it is really hard to detect. Unless you dig deep into your memory in the extreme silence, you can get a glimpse of the sad past contained in it. Maybe there is one or several unknown dark wounds hidden in everyone’s heart in the world, but they don’t want to show people easily, even themselves, or it is an unspeakable pain. In order to stabilize our time and bind our body and mind, what we can do is just a temporary escape. I can remember fifteen or six years of spring and autumn, but this is the painful memory that I can’t forget permeating the smell of blood in the air, and how much love and hate it carries in this memory, how much blood and tears, in addition to those who have already left the world and those who have experienced hardships but still exist in the present, I am afraid that only a few careful people can count their past after dinner, recalling the sad past mixed with helpless emotions. And I, as the witness of this long life mixed with joy and sorrow, also acted as a part of their life, so for life as a whole, no matter how humble my status is, nor can it be ignored or forgotten. Therefore, in my age of weak crown, I set out quietly with the state of mind that cannot be ignored, intending to pour out this sad memory silently. I have never tried to dig my memory from the depth before. There are probably many reasons. Most of the time I think that I am belongs to the kind of people who are not determined, and the constant depreciating of my ability like this always makes me disheartened, when I was physically and mentally exhausted, it appeared in my mind at first. It really made me look like a whole person. Sometimes I really wanted to lower myself into the dust, it’s better that you can’t see the light forever, otherwise, I don’t know who will stab me with one word, and I can’t be relieved for a while. However, people all understand that everything has its unknown two sides, and these two sides generally do not appear in front of people at the same time, its unique magic delivered to human beings is similar to the chronic nature of time. It always breaks out inadvertently on your way forward, which makes people feel uncomfortable at once. However, behind such things, it calls out the simple truth of the world with the little things happening in our life. While we are calm, when slowly salvaging the dead fallen leaves engraved with invisible memories from the Lake of the heart and looking at them, our expressions may be like eating pepper, making us laugh and cry. As for how I am understand my own life, to be honest, I don’t know much about it either. When I read a book I like carefully, I think I am have a sense of existence. At that moment, I thought that time was like going backwards, which made me, a laggard who lived a humble life like fallen leaves, taste the fruits of others’ life, which was different from my lifestyle. In such a life stirring reality and romance, I began to give birth to some of my own ideas and write about my own life world for no reason. In my opinion, reading others’ books is to increase the self-cultivation of life, improve the moral quality and increase the aesthetic standards of oneself. If you write your own book, the difference between them will be great. It contains all kinds of unknown requirements for yourself, and, not everyone can write works that make everyone nod, such as Lu Xun, Ba Jin, people like Yu Qiuyu have been baptized by how much ink to develop the ability that is now praised by the world. Then I can only feed myself with ink and words ceaselessly when I am looking up at the sky alone and dazing at different numbers all day long, imagining to write an amazing article. Sometimes the fireworks in memory are gorgeous, because they are different and unique. Some people say that fireworks is cold and miserable, because it only shows its appearance in the dark night, while others say that fireworks is a strange beautiful woman in the world, because it can awaken people’s deep heart of compassion and love for all things. In the fifteen or six bloody years I have experienced, I have also watched its beautiful or miserable appearance in the starry night sky. However, in my memory World, fireworks belongs to high coldness, which makes me unpredictable and full of mysterious and strange things. My attitude towards it is like Zhou Dunyi’s praise of Lotus, which can only be seen from a distance but not mocked. Therefore, such alienation gives me a kind of life personality of silence and few words. More part of it can also be said to be cowardice for powerful forces who have no courage to face. I can’t completely deny the words of despising people, because when my dear people were oppressed by blood, I was helpless and didn’t take necessary actions to protect others with my own strength. I have to say that my character is unsatisfactory. Spring elimination snow Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Memory

Brushed fleeting floating Yunyan, looking back, that years of details, then a variegated picture, still so kind, so lively, simple, pure, joy, clear fresh as never dust. Parents busy figure, family celebrate the bumper year laughter, neighbors to me to you door-to-door kowtow New Year scenes lifelike, clear as ever, vaguely is at hand, not let me think of a lot of, a lot then, the Laba Festival, I every day breaking hand index, and twenty days, and half a month, ten days, always feel time flies too slow, wish dragged hour run forward and at this time the mother, will busier than usual, more hard. Day busy a large family of three meals a day, and pig and chicken to feed, night but also for ours seven children to prepare for the holiday of clothes and shoes. The new year at this time should be a period of time after three years of struggling from natural disasters. Although the days improved slightly, they were still difficult. No money buys us new clothes, mother every night under the lamp sewing, brother sister clothes had been darned again and again, wear little on the change for me and brothers wear. Every night I wake up, see his mother in the dim light of an oil-lamp bow Naxie di. Soon, kerosene lamps twist on junction the snuff, light darker, mother with a needle to pick a few, snuff fall, light slightly and bright some mother proceeded to buried lamp Young not sorrow taste, mother so hard, I don’t understand love, was rather full of joy, silently imagine, mother skilled make new shoes “m the imagine da nian san shi noon, that the most fragrant rice and cabbage stew tofu of good food, can let us eat, imagine answer God send God of that three times a soba dumplings what you going these delicious but we usually watch can’t see. I imagine Chinese new year of same kind delicious, staring at mother pulled blurring ma xian sheng, thinking about thinking, Daze sleep into the dreaming I. With New Year’s Day by day close to, rural in every household intensive big favor up, cleaning house, washing, busy alive do New Year. Although life difficult, but every family adults have come up with usually live frugally save the little money, trying to make whole family have a happy years. Mother and father too, same kind reckoned: firecrackers, New Year, candles, red paper, yellow burning paper, fragrance, mounting clip these but New Year of the necessary items AH, carry less will not work, less like felt not comprehensive, not auspicious. The off-year, adults is busy. Tofu mill, steamed rice cakes, slaughtered pig, please genealogy, pendulum altar, croquettes new year’s most exciting than slaughtered pig. At that time, it was difficult for people to eat enough. What to feed pigs? Pig in addition to eat bran is drink swill, each pig grow up, and is less than 120, whose pigs grow up to 120kg, will relish show off for a long time. Although annual pig small, but slaughtered pig is joyous event, neighbors will delight. Of course most happy or we children, house bouncing around happily,, for a while to the boiling-pot looked, play for a while, to pot front smell pork flavor, like a greedy cat. Until finally pork cooked, mother would tear a small bowl to us taste, just try it. Mother to put cooked pork hide, reserved for da nian san shi lunch table of a pan mei dishes. Should leave a little entertain lunar January day door relatives guests. The remaining raw meat to pickled up, that’s family year cooking oil-water. Mother will small pig stay ah stay, remain until er yue er, stay can’t keep the, only served table of entire families share. Remember, every year er yue er eat pig, mother pig upper molar Qiao secretly left me to eat, say girl ate upper Qiao, ingenuity. I later will towards mother wishes ingenuity efforts, although poor unique romance, also learned many female red, Naxie Di, knitting, cutting and manual acupuncture do clothes, are very decent. Up to now, it seems that I can still smell the fragrance of my father’s fried oil balls. At that time, there was only one fried balls during the Spring Festival. Oil is mother usual thousand province million province savings, average Day dish, can only see a trifling oil Pearl. New Year burst point ismade for entertaining guests. Mother afraid we glutton the children ate not done, croquettes of live are arranged in night, we slept then fried. Father on the stove busy fried, mother in foci under busy fire, not let us pull over. But Kitchen coming out of sweet too attractive, we where still can sleep? A head out of brain greedy greedy looked at, mother had to end a small bowl asked us each eat a little. Father blasted balls and sweet potato angle, soft, savory, and sweet. This sweet melt with mom and dad, after decades of years passed, has been deeply in my memory in. I am most interested in is to see adults write couplets. We Nobody Home write couplet, quan tun only one write calligraphy of a culturally. Every end of Lunar December, my name is three elder brother of intellectuals always terribly busy, every household arranging asked him to write, finish club write West home, not white for, some leave for a simple meal, some gave a two hair Sanmao money said thanks. I write pairs third brother was filled with envy and respect, he came to my home I revolves around people go, is and bounced research and Mexico, is help’re even red paper, is help zhe liang up, he became a small assistant of an adult and was praised many times by the third elder brother who could write couplets. Although I don’t know couplet on, that ink words convey what, but small I can feel, that top entrusted with adults on future life of Good Hope. Red paper, black words, in my eyes a wave of auspicious and happy light. I like such auspiciousness and happiness. The new year pictures bought by my second elder brother always make me fondle admiringly. When a new house is decorated with New Year pictures, it will take on a new look, and the heart will be very bright. My favorite lian hua, the Mu Guiying “” White Snake “each lian hua to me is a book, a book worth reading a book. Every day I countless wall standing, chewing those half-baked word, touched people in picture a picture beautiful face, repeated figure out lian hua in I so crave story lian hua, let me know a hero of Yang family, She Taijun, Mu Guiying and the Female Generals of Yang family, as well as stories like Xu Xian, White Snake, Green Snake and Fahai, which filled my little heart with novelty, I even journeying to think, if I walked painting ever so nice in! New year’s most lively most grand day is thirty. My parents had been busy all morning. My grandfather was getting older, so my father needed to split materials and carry water. He also paid attention to carrying water. The water in the jar must be filled up, and he could not go out to carry water before sending it to God. Mother to busy noon best meal, but also chop stuffing ready night take God of dumplings. Then no white-flour, dumplings is for buckwheat powder packets, thick skin, in a pot and boiled soon broken many, dumplings broken can’t call broken, to call made, called earn auspicious. Mother would set out better dumplings used to for God. Evening, Twilight rappel, something hospital nearly Branch people greet each other with, you paged me shout go get the God. Received God after, along the way no one talk, for fear of God irreverent, God blame. Home, father immediately put the prepared pressure men gang down, blocking door. Said, Ancestors home New Year are riding a horse, pressure men gang is to our ancestors hitching post. Father went back to the room and respectfully invited the gods to the list. The ancestors, the god of wealth, the God of Kitchen, all the gods would have a full kitchen. Mother had already placed offerings in front of the gods, father kowtowed and made a series, and burned incense on paper to light candles. Immediately, there was a mysterious atmosphere in the kitchen. I walk through pantry, straight all binds me, not out of the atmosphere, afraid disturb home New Year God. At that time, there was no electric light. I especially liked the candles lit on a large scale. The atmosphere of lighting candles was very special, filled with the feeling of unclear. Every time I walked past the table of ancestors who lit candles, there was a mysterious feeling of gathering people and gods. I couldn’t help admiring the ancestors in my small heart. Eat dumplings front, father will come up with pressure in Kangxi the following grass whip give us. Grass whip just a box and er bai head, series neat, and father to break up one by one count, give third brother and two younger brothers, also consists of twenty to me. After we got the small firecrackers, we counted them again and again, wrapped them again and again, hid them again and again, and we were afraid of losing them. My courage small, can’t put, but very like small firecrackers small fun. Playing it lunar January 15, I put in the hands of small firecrackers give third brother and two younger brother. Night even double-year-old, five two years. The grand ceremony of sending paper began. At that time, there was no New Year’s Eve dinner to eat, but after the firecrackers of the whole village were roaring, the red light was shining, and the incense filled the air, our seven children lined up from big to small, under the leadership of my eldest brother, I paid New Year greetings to my grandfather and parents. At this time, the mother sitting on the kang would take out the lucky money that had already been prepared and give them to us one by one. The elder sister and elder brothers would be two cents of big money, while the small one was one or five cents of small money. These little money is enough to make us excited. We can buy a lot of things with a dime, such as books, pencils, erasers, candy bars and so on. Think about it, I am so happy in my heart! After a nap, everyone got up early in the early morning of the first day of junior high school. All the elders in the village put on clean and tidy clothes and sat on the hot Kang, waiting for the young and middle-aged people to come to visit the new year one after another. There are dozens of families in our village with different surnames, all of which are called Hou, and they can’t write two words of Hou at one stroke. Looking up several generations is an old ancestor, so young and middle-aged men have to live in one family, to every elders kowtow New Year call. My grandfather generational large, in village in is most the elders, that great crowds, early in the morning to my home coming, met are all smiles, mutual hands bow greetings New Year! The whole village was permeated with joy. We girls don’t have to go door-to-door, but only walk around near branches. I got up early in the morning to dress up and wash up. After eating dumplings, I put on patched but clean clothes and new cloth shoes made by my mother. I went to find some of my little sisters happily to pay New Year greetings to the elders nearby. Worship to last just stop does not go, shoes off Kang on around thermal Brazier said whisper. For a while pulled black braids, Bibi who of red rope nice, for a while and come up with New Year’s money, Bibi whose old whose new, a short while again happy play catch bones. Grasping bones is our favorite game when girls were young. The so-called bone is a bone on the kneecap of pigs and sheep. This bone is small and exquisite, with front, back and side. The front is called belly, while the back is called back. We little sisters in our hands a few, some still from relatives to come. What we like most is the tiny bones, small and smooth, holding a few in hand, and making a pleasant sound. During the new year, we also dyed the small bones with blue or pink colors, which made us more interested in playing. We also have a shuttlecock in our hands, which is made up of six sides with flower cloth corners. Some of them are filled with sand and some are filled with food. When playing games, we throw the shuttlecock upward, the eyes should follow the shuttlecock which was thrown up and down and the bone which was grasped by his subordinates, and slide up and down. Only when the hands and eyes are coordinated can they become the winner successfully. We held these little bones and played for a whole morning. We didn’t go home until the adults were about to cook. Later, the Great Cultural Revolution began. The whole country broke the four old and established the four new, broke the old ideas, old culture, old customs and old habits. Please ask genealogy, pick up gods and send gods, these with old color of ancient folk customs, is to get rid of all gone, new year will be simple quiet a lot. After the reform and opening up, with the rising of good days and the revival of folk customs, the ancient New Year has restored all the stresses and grandness of the past. This is a sentence that I repeated countless times in my heart when I was young. Now, when it comes to the flourishing age, happiness is flowing. The three meals a day in normal days are thousands of times more delicious than those in the new year at that time. But every time when I face the delicious and delicious food filled with the table during the Spring Festival, I have a kind of nostalgic thoughts in my heart. I will never forget the new year in my memory! Now I understand how difficult it was for my parents at that time! It is the parents who are full of great kindness that have created a happy, festive and joyful new year for us with their diligence, frugality, tiredness and hard work. It is the parents who use their weak but extremely strong arms, it helped us build a poor and warm home; It was my parents who used their feelings of no complaints to spend difficulties with the country, casting my firm determination to unite with the Republic from beginning to end Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…