Two years

In autumn and winter, turn on the phone, and the screen shows: 2012.11.8. Another year’s November, the winter opening of this year is destined to be in another place. Although the present is more lonely and desolate than before, the difference is that the inner peace and unhurried, even if occasionally it touches the scene, in the deep heart, thinking about those things, remember those people, remember the road you have traveled. It seemed a little sad, but at least it didn’t have the fickleness and pain at that time. It was more like drifting with the current, seeing no counteracting force, which made me depressed. It is a little misunderstood as numbness and surrender. Fortunately, from childhood till now, the bone marrow has always been filled with the consciousness of strong desire, hard work and progress every day. After two years of wandering, experience and experience, is it sublimation or numbness and surrender? Two years ago, it was also this November that I came to Chengdu in the West with several companions, like a group of migrant workers, with big bags and small bags. The city was crowded and crowded, no matter how rich and prosperous it is, it doesn’t belong to one person. Walking into the high-end office building, the inside is luxurious and rich. Standing in the middle, the upper-class people go out and out, setting off themselves and feeling the tackiness of unearthed villages all over their, I don’t know whether it is self-abasement or not. Because I am unfamiliar, I only know that all this has nothing to do with me. What aggravates is my inner timidity and desire, hesitation and pain, the most helpless thing was to go to Chongqing alone overnight. In just one day, it seems that all these changes are so sudden, empty and incapable. Setbacks and difficulties have to be overcome and persisted. Reluctantly, they only tell themselves to adapt and accept, and do not forget to work harder. Chongqing, the strange city started a wandering life alone. Two years ago, I lived 22 years ago, and two years later, I started 25 years ago. When I was working with the old masters on the construction site, I felt very small, sunny and promising in their eyes. Back home, relatives and friends, when it comes to getting married and getting married, they are too young. Really, individuals don’t care about these things, but they care more about enjoying them. The vitality and passion of youth are sunny. Energetic, you can do things that are difficult for many people to do. In the final analysis, it’s just time, time goes by, time goes by, time goes by, and it’s a little alarmist. In the past two years, I have traveled to many places, first in Shenzhen and Guangzhou, then in Chengdu, Chongqing, Wuhan and Henan, and now in Hebei. From beginning to end, I was alone on the road, I have experienced a lot, and each time I am unfamiliar with different stories, whether they are good or bad. I don’t want to compare them. I book a list and make a vague experience. It’s not easy to be too clear. People’s hearts are simple and happy, life is the same, but it was once impossible. I have traveled a lot, learned to adapt faster, grew up on the road, gradually and changed. Compared with the timidity and cowardice I used to be, how to deal with the world, how to distinguish right from wrong, whether to wait or not, A little progress is more like a social person. In stories like work, life, family, communication, etc., the leading role begins to act together. Although sometimes it is reluctant and humiliating acceptance, in fact, it is also a challenge and growth, so I learned to endure humiliation and bear heavy burdens. In the past two years, some of my friends around me were drunk and dreamless, and some of my love was soul-stirring. However, in every city, I was wandering from place to place, not wandering, but from my dream, it still cannot be avoided to stimulate inner anxiety and impetuousness, which is a common problem for most people to be impatient and eager for success. When it comes to playing, you can’t find the interest that makes you lose your ambition. Love, once there was, the performance was a one-man show, accompanied by a lonely role, standing in the distance, only dark, no love, love, it is just a hopeless waiting. In the past two years, I used to work hard, mediate the trivial matters of family life, struggle with feelings. When I was not working, I worried about food and accommodation, and made friends. After a long time, I fried rice with steamed bread every day, sleeping on the balcony of the Internet cafe station, fortunately, the boy doesn’t have to worry too much about safety, but also tries to hide it from his relatives and friends: I have a good life, reducing my worries. I deeply feel the tiredness and hardship of life. It is hard to earn money. I learn to be used to frugality, but I am still generous to my relatives and friends. I am not showing off, but treating others sincerely and warmly because of love and care, what gained more was their trust. In fact, it is enough! Now, when I come to Hebei, I am still alone. It seems lonely and shabby. My life and work are still calm and peaceful. Maybe it is more because of more experiences. I am free from the circumstances and don’t care about the outside environment, it doesn’t matter. Gradually, I felt that my friends who once expected dreams and worked towards goals began to yield and compromise after running around the Society for life. Once the dream was out of reach, getting farther and farther, giving up efforts without motivation. Sometimes, I always ask myself: what do you need in your heart and what are your dreams? The most is loss and hesitation. I often live a life of wasting my time and doing nothing. More feelings are fear and sin. I want to have the idea of running wildly, but finally I can’t find a direction. Life goes on, dreams always make you unpredictable, clear or hazy, which can be a thousand miles away in a year. I like regular life, which is as gentle as my own character and as pleasant as poetry. Not too noisy, not too quiet, Moonlight shore, blue sky and white clouds, mood will not change with the weather. At dusk, I take my beloved to the park for a walk and chat, do morning exercises at dawn, go to work happily after breakfast, accompany my family to go to the supermarket on weekends, watch movies, taste delicious food, and enjoy a happy trip on holidays, occasionally, I take time to visit relatives and friends, get together to eat small wine and chat about life. This kind of life is a kind of recreation and enjoyment, but it is just longing for life. Poor couples feel sad at the same time, not because they don’t love and disharmony, but because they live a real life. No one can help him or herself. What you think in your heart and say in your mouth are a bit empty talk. Life and dreams have to walk on the road with your feet. However, now it seems numb and compromised, but because of dreams and life, The Restless Heart is still rooted in the bone marrow. Because openness and confidence are restless rather than impetuous. Dreams, loss and hesitation are only temporary. Walking on the road, looking! I will never regret the gradual broadening of my clothes, which makes me Haggard. Maybe it can be sublimated after experiencing the process, simply satisfying the needs of the soul, and a sweet, warm and harmonious life is my best dream. Life is loneliness, learning to endure loneliness, learning to do one thing alone, calm but not compromise, trying hard without giving up the meaningful life, loneliness, confusion, poverty, pain …… are temporary, I firmly believe that there will be rainbows in the heaviness after wind and rain. Make your own friends. I sincerely wish myself, my family members, relatives, friends who love and love me who are struggling far away from home, peace and health, all of which can have a good future and a sweet life……. Spring elimination snow Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. 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